(03-26-2016, 04:55 PM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: //Every single time I've posted something everyone has absolutely ignored it. Just to test it I even made minor catastrophe occur within the previous. And nobody even responded nor reacted. I feel like the invisible man currently, and I'm an ego freak, so that's a bad thing. I'd try taking advantage of it if I wasn't self aware. >.>

"Waaa it died again." No individual has tha' right to say such to be honest. Although I think technically Odin does, that's aside the point. If you don't want friendships to die, you interact with your friend, if you don't want an RPG/RP to die, you write even though you don't want to. Most of the work I've written that I still enjoy has been when I "Couldn't think of what to write." All the rest has been spittle and I've wanted to take it back as it's awful.

Sorry, Get carried away when writing. Hehahahaha.///

(03-26-2016, 05:54 PM)Lost Rinoah Wrote:

(03-26-2016, 04:58 PM)Surge Wrote: (oh god dammit I've been reading your posts but somehow the gravity of that last one escaped me)

//It's almost like I have my own personal mass effect field whenever I post here.  Heh.  It is inconsequential though.  My writing does have a sort of, high standard for what is considered "bad".  Could probably write a post of torturing someone to death and everyone would think it was just two people playing a game.  Well, in some ways, it might be, but, there would be only one player.

Hmm.  In any case.  Yeah.  Not much going on?  Time skips.  People are too afraid of time skips.  The greatest books have a LOT of them written in.  Because some things aren't interesting in the slightest.

(03-26-2016, 04:55 PM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: //Every single time I've posted something everyone has absolutely ignored it.  Just to test it I even made minor catastrophe occur within the previous.  And nobody even responded nor reacted.  I feel like the invisible man currently, and I'm an ego freak, so that's a bad thing.  I'd try taking advantage of it if I wasn't self aware.  >.>

"Waaa it died again."  No individual has tha' right to say such to be honest.  Although I think technically Odin does, that's aside the point.  If you don't want friendships to die, you interact with your friend, if you don't want an RPG/RP to die, you write even though you don't want to.  Most of the work I've written that I still enjoy has been when I "Couldn't think of what to write."  All the rest has been spittle and I've wanted to take it back as it's awful.

Sorry,  Get carried away when writing.  Hehahahaha.///

(12-19-2015, 10:41 PM)Lost Rinoah Wrote:      And the wind dropped to a low whine.  As a narrowly slitted eye looked careful at the array of cards sat into a pyramid shape.  One over the corners of the two cards above it to a set of 28 cards.  Another eye opened as the head ferried itself a few inches up, finger tapping chin.  3 and ten to stack.  Flip one from deck, another three.  He winced.  This could be bad.  A glint of yellow from a light shone through the window as he blinked, momentarily distracted.   But he returned.  Flip one from deck.  Yes!  Ace and queen,, opening another ten to go with the three, opening a king, King to stack, Flip from deck,  4, flip, 8.  Nothing.  And he finally stopped  stretching his back with a soft pop,  He should probably give it a rest.  63+ games of pyramid in a row...  63 being what he counted only since he'd started counting.  

    He wrinkled his face in personal disgust.  Well then, yeah, definitely about the time to stop.  He turned away from the table and unfinished game and rubbed his forehead.  Sudden headache.  "Uhhg."  A few footsteps, a flop into a chair.  The flutter of long clothing, and padding of a body in a plush suede chair.   The most pricy bit of furniture in the room, with a ply-wood table, and rough sanded lengths of unvarnished wood for shelving.  The window let a new tone out as he heard a 'thump, thump' upon it, and leaned forwards.  Yellow eyes scanning the window to see naught but a tree branch broken from it's former position, banging at it.  A sigh, and the inward glare of closed eyes.  Pallid cloth sat on this form, not quite white, but a somber ember cream robe, overly simple in design to look like it was made while wearing it.  Like it didn't come off.

    Sitting here playing games felt like such a waste, and yet he thought little upon it most of the time.  He sat, unable to remember how long he'd been at it.  Days?  Weeks?   Years?  It bled together for him.  Red brows creasing in thought.  What really DID he remember?  A sudden weight in his lap almost startled him as he heard a purr-like sound.  Although he reached down and ran a soft skinned hand through the spinous fronds of the grey coat of his little friend.  Little more than a physical manipulation of his former cat.  "Hello Sandrise."  His voice a boring overly neutral drawl, dwelling uncomfortably long on any S to the point they sounded like "thhhh"s.  He looked human, maybe a little bit too skinny.  Hair medium length, dull brownish red pulled back into a U-loop.  Standing at only a shallow 4'8", pale skin not helped by his choice of clothing.  His face angular and child-like.

    "Yes...  What DO I remember..?"  He asked her as she continued plying his leg with that simple sound of contentedness.    As far as he could think...  Nothing.

(12-21-2015, 12:19 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote:     After a time, Sandrise bored of his attention, hopping from his lap.  And he stood once more, stepping forwards as the air current in the room reversed.  It called his attention to the door.  Suddenly open as nobody stepped inside.  He hurried to it and shut it.  He sighed, partially in relief, partially in confusion.  Why did the opening of that door leave him so panicked?  Why had he felt the need to rush to it and close it so briskly?  He knew not, but it comforted him now as he heard the pop of a soft electronic lock.  The wooden furnishing only a comfortable ruse on the inside, to an otherwise electronically controlled metal house, single room only.  He heard Sandrise hiss loudly, and turned quickly; a form stood there.  But too quickly his vision fled from him.

He awoke, fires burned, his chest hurt, like small fires burned within him as he coughed wildly.  Each cough made it worse rather than better, and he heard a shallow, panicked, growling meow nearby, looking up, his eyes burned.  He could see little in the smoke but began crawling anyways, not for the door, but for the calls of his apparent pet.  She cried in pain in a low call, and he pushed the debris from her broken body.  A word of comfort escaped his lips as he held her and pushed himself forwards,  back for the door.  He could feel crushed ribs, his own, and hers.  But even that soon faded to numbness.  His own mind threatening to fade in the smoke.  He thumped one hand against the door, it did not move.  Another thump, a bloodied cough.  He pulled off a plate of wood covered metal from the wall, his arms going numb with lack of precious gasses for his lungs to take.  He put all his strength to his fingers.  And just dropped his weight sideways.  To make sure he did not hurt Sandrise.  

The physical release didn't seem to work at first, his last hope fading instantly with his last sight of his surroundings.  And then a loud noise, a slight rush of breathable gasses.  It gave him that little drive he needed.  An arm and both legs working wildly to force himself out of the room where he lay nearly dying.  Five feet out, his vision faded, eyes coated in soot like every other part of his body keeping them pasted shut, he stopped moving.  Neither dead nor dying, but in no good condition nonetheless.  His robe now blasted black with soot and ash, he lay there moving little other than uneasy breathing.

(12-27-2015, 04:33 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: The smell of foul smoke.  A dry soot coated throat.  A cough.  A cough meant he was still alive.  His heart leapt as he wheezed wildly; he felt sick, sick and barely alive.   With numbed limbs he grasped at his throat.  Water...  He needed.  He just coughed.  Interrupting his own thoughts as a clump of red and black shot from his mouth, impacting the ground as he cleaned his hands the best he could and wiped clumped soot from his eyes as well.  Finally he looked up.  His small home a burned out husk.  Smoke still slowly rising from it's embers within the metal shell.  A small mew was let out and he turned to look at the broken body of Sandrise, still alive, but barely, as she lay on her side, blood streaming from the edge of her mouth to the ground. 

It hurt, everything hurt, but he needed to help.  He couldn't lose anyone.  Especially not her; he reached out for her, his hands didn't reach far enough.  It forced him to drag himself forwards until finally, with ginger touch, he pulled her into his arms, and cradled her softly.  He whispered words of comfort,  Words of power as she was fortified from death.  He could manage no more right now as he felt her relax only slightly, feeling her body double in weight as the words left on his breath.  She was heavy, but he pushed one leg into the ground, pushing up to one knee, then slowly rising.  He felt his heart still thumping within him, looking around the trees that surrounded him, his body screamed at him as he pushed himself, one foot at a time, into a walk.  A soft "shhh-shh-shh."  Hushing his own body as his pain numbed itself.

(01-14-2016, 11:19 PM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: It hurt...  It was bright, and...  And it just hurt, what it was he didn't know, it just, hurt, so much.  His lungs gasped, heart beating in his chest rapidly as his throat closed up.  His stomach threatened to convulse.  He felt the cold tinge of something, somewhere on his arm.  His eyes were still clenched shut, though his muscles were slowwwly starting to relax finally.  And it was now he noticed the voices.  "Stabilized. 60 by 120 is standard for humans right?"  "Yes, I think so?"  "Not even you know?  Did you sleep in while getting your degree o-...  He's awake?!  How!?  Already?!"  He opened his eyes and instantly closed them again.  "Too, bright."  He only said before covering his face with his arm and feling the tenseness of a tube stuck in his arm.  Ack...  Hospitals.  They'd expect him to pay for this.  But more importantly, where was Sandrise?  "Where is she?"  He asked, pulling the IV tape off and pulling it out carefully as he sat up.  "You should lay back down, it's not safe for you to be up already."  He felt what felt like feathers and fur press against his chest trying to stop him.  It lent him to open his eyes, bad idea.  "Ahhg!"  The white light hurt his eyes still, and he ducked backwards off the other end of the medical bed, causing it to slide a couple inches towards the supposed doctors.  His back thumped awkwardly flat on the hard tile floor, though thankfully he kept his head suspended from smashing against it.  He gasped as the wind was knocked out of him, taking a breath back in.  And he kicked the medical bed, it smashed into the doctors, causing them to stumble and fall onto their hind quarters.  One of them quickly shouting.  "Security!"  as they scrambled to leave the room, rushing out before he could get a good look at them or what they were exactly.  He heard a click as the door locked behind them.  Shiit.

(01-23-2016, 12:03 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: The floor shook with the impact, as the medical bed was forced barely within his strength onto it's side, and he pushed it in front of the door.  Hopefully that'd hold em, as he pullws odd the medical gown, showing his robes that sat upon his skin beneath once more, but now bare footed...  Oh well.  He opened the windows and kicked the screen loose before pulling it into the room.  Only now did he look out.  Fourth floor only.  Not too bad...  "Where is she?"  Echoed through his head, as it had constantly since hhe awoke.  And he slid across a small wind-cutter ledge on the building until he hit the gutter pipe.  Thankfully he'd had the foresight to wrap cloth about his hands as he slid down it and ran off rapidly disappearing into the streets.  Until he stopped to take a breath in a nearby alleyway.  His chest hurt.  Bandages sat reddened slightly beneath his robe, reddening the back of his robe slowly.  Although it stopped soon after.  He just stopped.  There was no way he was paying for that.   He had no money, he had no accounts, and he had no favors to call upon either.  And that was that.  As he just sat down...  "Where is she?"  He asked among the silent side-streets, to no one in particular as he relaxed a bit.  Except maybe himself a little bit, in his desperation.  She was alive at least, he knew nothing if not that.  "Sandrise..."

(01-27-2016, 05:23 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: He may as well look for some information, sitting about in desperate hope would change nothing after all.  And his form pushed itself up, rubbing at his right shoulder softly as he set himself walking forwards, out of the alleyway and onto the main streets.  Others walked the streets, of races he did not know, and of those he'd seen only in pictures.  He refused to stare though, far too occupied on Sandrise to think about such things.  Only he didn't know where he was going as a brisk wind threw papers wildly through the streets.  It drew him to accidentally step on a few.  He gave not a glance to read them.   And he stopped upon the hill which he found himself on, a rise within the settlement, looking down over the houses and shops.  Leaning against the corner of the nearest building he took a deep breath.  Well, as large as it was, there had to be info somewhere...  Where to start he still didn't know.  Oh well, he'd find her, one way or another.  He smiled softly, not a comforting smile, a nervous one, filled with unhalting will.  As he trodded on towards the inn in the distance,

(02-14-2016, 01:58 PM)Lost Rinoah Wrote:     A period of time just, sitting there in the alley, waiting in relative silence aside standard foot-padding and wind.  He nibbled at the piece of bread he'd taken out of boredom rather than actual hunger, half of it gone already.  He watched numerous races pass on the street on their ways, including some humans, as well as many other races he knew nothing of...  He wondered if they...  No, no it was best to stave off those thoughts.  He already had something else that needed his attention.  He still needed to find Sandrise, or if nothing else, Zeurei.  Why had she attacked him so before, only to leave Sandrise alive and well...  Was it to taunt him?  It was so sudden, almost completely out of character...  Her face when he'd turned about in his house to see her had horrified him.  And she just left him to die in there it had seemed, yet here he was, still alive.  Was it a game to her..?  Maybe, she did have the same twisted sense of humor as him.  They were twins after all, but she had bluntly stabbed him earlier to get at Sandrise, it wasn't lethal, had she missed everything vital on purpose..?  "Bah."  He looked up to see someone in the alleyway with him looking down at him just sitting in the alleyway between the inn and some owned store next door.  Ahhhk...  It seemed to be an officer, and they weren't human.  

"Hello?  What do you YOU want?"  He didn't even attempt to hide his spite and distaste of their wearing such a uniform from his voice.

(03-27-2016, 01:32 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: //You do realize notice includes pointing these things out right?  My, what a tongue you have, my fellow.  I needn't protect myself, as I do make mistakes.  But, is any of that said with any anger or ill intent?  Hard to tell, hoping not, as I despise anger.  But I'll be sure to take note of the applicable statements.  Constructive criticism is constructive first and foremost after all.  Only wish more people were open about stating such things.  10+ years of writing now and only two to ever provide it even when asking for it.  Pffah.  Thanks.

I'm not stupid, I know why things are slow and inactive. But even this is a long shot from "dead". It's currently the people still here not quite knowing what to post or being unwilling to. I've seen it enough to know. Watched how often people check in on the thread too to make sure. By my personal standards this is still quite quick/active, actually. Just choppy, which is standard. Nobody has the time to be on constantly, eh?

But yeah. Dead is a bad choice of word.

(03-27-2016, 03:25 AM)Shaadaris Wrote:

(03-27-2016, 01:32 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: //You do realize notice includes pointing these things out right?  My, what a tongue you have, my fellow.  I needn't protect myself, as I do make mistakes.  But, is any of that said with any anger or ill intent?  Hard to tell, hoping not, as I despise anger.  But I'll be sure to take note of the applicable statements.  Constructive criticism is constructive first and foremost after all.  Only wish more people were open about stating such things.  10+ years of writing now and only two to ever provide it even when asking for it.  Pffah.  Thanks.

I'm not stupid, I know why things are slow and inactive.  But even this is a long shot from "dead".  It's currently the people still here not quite knowing what to post or being unwilling to.  I've seen it enough to know.  Watched how often people check in on the thread too to make sure.  By my personal standards this is still quite quick/active, actually.  Just choppy, which is standard.  Nobody has the time to be on constantly, eh?

But yeah.  Dead is a bad choice of word.

No ill intent or anger, just wanting to help you improve* your RP posting.
*Subjective.

(03-27-2016, 03:37 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote:

(03-27-2016, 03:25 AM)Shaadaris Wrote: No ill intent or anger, just wanting to help you improve* your RP posting.
*Subjective.

//It's mostly that I somehow forget none of you know me, so I assume some of you would know things you obviously would not be able to.  Trying to stop that.  But, I have none my characters pre written, as I actually have around fifty characters, but only three(five) actual presets for characters. some of what you pointed out is me trying to figure out myself who my character is.  They develop with barely any input after all.  I'm just the writer.  I am here only to let their stories unfold in front of us.  And sometimes those stories unfold without anyone else.  When I interacted with...  Err.  Would it be worth our time to create a temporary thread for this conversation so we don't bulk up this one?  I would love to converse more on my writing and your critique, if you'd be kind enough to oblige?

(03-27-2016, 03:42 AM)Shaadaris Wrote:

(03-27-2016, 03:37 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: //It's mostly that I somehow forget none of you know me, so I assume some of you would know things you obviously would not be able to.  Trying to stop that.  But, I have none my characters pre written, as I actually have around fifty characters, but only three(five) actual presets for characters. some of what you pointed out is me trying to figure out myself who my character is.  They develop with barely any input after all.  I'm just the writer.  I am here only to let their stories unfold in front of us.  And sometimes those stories unfold without anyone else.  When I interacted with...  Err.  Would it be worth our time to create a temporary thread for this conversation so we don't bulk up this one?  I would love to converse more on my writing and your critique, if you'd be kind enough to oblige?

Well I'm unsure what more I could say. I hate critiquing people's things for a good reason. Besides, we can't make threads, much less temporary threads, except in a few places.

(03-27-2016, 03:46 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote:

(03-27-2016, 03:42 AM)Shaadaris Wrote: Well I'm unsure what more I could say. I hate critiquing people's things for a good reason. Besides, we can't make threads, much less temporary threads, except in a few places.

//....   BUGGER  So unless you'd share a contact of some sort or have another Idea I'll just settle with shaking my hands at the heavens and glaring at my computer screen.  No way in hell am I going to subject these innocent eyes of such bystanders to such conversation and thought the likes of which they only see every day where they will be forced to look upon them with displeasure.

(03-27-2016, 03:58 AM)Shaadaris Wrote:

(03-27-2016, 03:46 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: //....   BUGGER  So unless you'd share a contact of some sort or have another Idea I'll just settle with shaking my hands at the heavens and glaring at my computer screen.  No way in hell am I going to subject these innocent eyes of such bystanders to such conversation and thought the likes of which they only see every day where they will be forced to look upon them with displeasure.

Uh...
Ooookayyyy?

(02-22-2016, 02:04 AM)Shaadaris Wrote: A shuttle from Eden touches down on the planet's surface.

A short, skinny young man with skin the colour of coal and two large black horns which curve back from the top of his head exits the shuttle. He has bright red, curly and dishevelled hair which goes down to his shoulders in length. On his forehead is an elaborate white tattoo, though it is partially covered by his bangs. His eyes are squinty and his left sclera is black, while his iris is a deep blue and his pupil a vertical slit. His right eye is missing and has been replaced with a pitch-black glass sphere. His nose is best described as “cute” and his ears are long and pointed, almost horizontal but somewhat curved. He looks like he hasn't shaved in a couple of days and red stubble covers his face. He has large black glasses and wears a white button-up shirt with a beige vest over top, with suspenders and a belt holding up his fancy grey pants. He has on dress shoes, and keeps a satchel slung across his shoulder with some tools sticking out. He carries a small tablet device with an attached stylus. He looks extremely bored and disinterested as he makes his way farther into the city, yawning.

(03-31-2016, 05:50 AM)OdinYggd Wrote: //Okay. Where is something I can trigger with Danu? She'd most likely be going around the marketplace picking up supplies for her home and her job, but could make a detour easily enough.

(03-31-2016, 06:21 AM)Shaadaris Wrote: The alien man (described above) heads into the market and furrows his brow. He looks around for a while, trying carefully to avoid any people, before sitting down on a bench and using a screwdriver from his satchel to tighten and loosen a screw in the armrest. He keeps doing this for a few moments before leaning back and looking at the sky. He looks completely lost.

(03-31-2016, 01:18 PM)OdinYggd Wrote: //Bit of a hiccup- my understanding of the layout was that the marketplace was on Eden, even though Danu lives on the planet below. She keeps a shuttle pass so that she can go up and down as needed.

(03-31-2016, 04:33 PM)Umbra Wrote: // meh, I'll go mess with Shaad's new guy. Odin, wanna meet Syntax? He'll pretty much always be on Eden.

(03-31-2016, 06:21 AM)Shaadaris Wrote: The alien man (described above) heads into the market and furrows his brow. He looks around for a while, trying carefully to avoid any people, before sitting down on a bench and using a screwdriver from his satchel to tighten and loosen a screw in the armrest. He keeps doing this for a few moments before leaning back and looking at the sky. He looks completely lost.

Umbra passes by and almost just keeps walking.
Waitaminute.
He glances back at the somewhat demonic figure.
That's strange... Haven't seen anything quite like that before.
"Hey, uh..." He slowly makes his way over to the bench and sits down on the opposite end. "...Are you, ah... New here?..."
He'd seem pretty odd himself. There isn't any other thing quite like him in the crowd.
// I'm assuming I don't have to describe a character that's been around for a while.

(04-01-2016, 12:33 AM)Shaadaris Wrote: The man doesn't even turn to look at Umbra. "No. Well... Yes. It depends on what you mean. I live on Eden, but I have not been down here very many times."

((Is black text too hard to read? I thought bolding it might make it stand out a bit better, but I dunno. Looks fine on my screen.))

(04-01-2016, 02:10 AM)Umbra Wrote:

(04-01-2016, 12:33 AM)Shaadaris Wrote: The man doesn't even turn to look at Umbra. "No. Well... Yes. It depends on what you mean. I live on Eden, but I have not been down here very many times."

((Is black text too hard to read? I thought bolding it might make it stand out a bit better, but I dunno. Looks fine on my screen.))

// I have to lean in/squint a little, but other than that it's readable.
"Ah. Yeah, I used to live on Eden... Used to. It got pretty stale after the first year..." Umbra shrugs, but the unknown person probably doesn't know that since he isn't looking.
"So, uh... What brings you down here?" He keeps looking over his new acquaintance, trying to figure out what, exactly, he is.