08-29-2016, 12:53 PM
(08-29-2016, 12:48 PM)Surge Wrote:(08-29-2016, 12:41 PM)Rahizel Wrote: Nobody was really ever clear about what I did that nobody liked, aside from my penchant to be too silly and soak up drama.I can't an won't speak for others, even though I doubt they'll speak for themselves, but what's always pissed the hell out of me is how needy you are. That tendency to chime in with no contribution other than the fact that you aren't currently receiving attention, which you've managed to translate into the RP as well and put ME off from trying to RP at all so I don't have to deal with a character whose sole purpose is to be a "rover sue."
And I'm not blaming it on anyone but myself, I was the one who refused to fight, refused to remove myself when the situation turned sour, and I was the one who despite knowing my severe shortcomings of understanding the feelings and behaviors of others. I also did not expend extra effort to try and cognitively process those finer nuances of social interaction that has never come naturally for me like it does most. I knew that I had a problem, knew that I come off as blunt, but I was too weak and/or lazy to fight it. It would have been time consuming and difficult but I do know people who suffer from many of the... same shortcomings I have, going so far to work through it that they had an actual notebook that was titled "Human Interaction Cheat Sheet" with drawings of expressions and their meaning, a sarcasm checklist, even a list of common terms of phrase.
Do not even for a second think I blame all of you, sure I was angry but it was misplaced, I'm the one who should have fought harder, wanted it more.
Disclaimer: Not intended to be a guilt trip or passive aggressive response, not sure if it is or isn't but it shouldn't be.
If you want to have discussions with people and not get "the cold shoulder" from the "cool kids club" you need to be able to say things worth discussing, provide an actual contribution to the conversation at hand or provide a genuinely interesting topic, not just shuffle in and make yourself known. Generally speaking speaking people will not give a shit about you and your feelings unless you can establish a reason for them to separately.
Yeah I do that a lot and it annoys the crap out of me when I catch myself doing it. I was planning on removing the gryphon character from the RP because thats all it was used for. Old habits die hard but they DO die.
I'm happy to listen and respond to criticism and be called out for letting my guard down and go back to bad habits, preferably subtley though. But yeah if it annoys even me it's no good, at least knowing that I have the problem I can keep an eye out and avoid it the best I can.
Also working on my issues with impulsiveness by reading over my own messages before posting.