07-10-2015, 07:55 PM
(07-10-2015, 07:54 PM)Nepeta Wrote:Did you even take the time to read what I said?(07-10-2015, 07:54 PM)Marxon Wrote: Listen close because I'm not going to repeat myself.Ssshhh.
This is probably going to be the last time i discuss this as my audience has dwindled severely, after that ill probably feed everyone bullshit saying I'm okay and suffer in silence until it ends me or just turn dark and cynical.
I want to tell you all how I truly feel, I want to accept your help and let you in to the deepest parts of who I am. I do, but I'm scared stiff, terrified of what may be revealed.
I've in the past had opportunities for very deep introspection, a chance to look deep into myself... what I saw deep down there, was eldritch horror... it shocks me to the core the evil im capable of doing if my concentration lapses just a little. It's happened in the past only slightly and I've done things I'm too ashamed to say aloud...
Getting off topic...
Anyways, I'm a being who lives in a world of fear right now, fear of what I might do if I lose control, fear of what others will do when they see what I see in myself, fear of my medicine ceasing to help again, fear of losing the battle against depression and insanity...
I have more troubles than any one man can bear, but that does not give me the right to force them onto the shoulders of others...
I'm sorry.
*Hug.*