07-10-2015, 08:21 PM
(07-10-2015, 07:54 PM)Marxon Wrote: Listen close because I'm not going to repeat myself.Marx.. i need to explain to you... that what i said i stand by.. simply because i needed to show the feelings i was getting... but i will also mention to this that your not the only one that lives in fear and darkness... its gonna take strength to hold onto your sanity... it always does... yes i may not know what your going through... but you don't know what i go through either... are they comparable... probably not.. but the fact remains.... alot of us here live in darkness and fear... those strong enough to push through it become better people... and i feel you have the potential... which is partly why i crack the metaphorical whip on you... i want you to be a better person... if that means being a fucking hardass on you sometimes... that is what it means... i left you alone because i knew as i was, i was only making things worse having you rely too much onto me for happyness and solutions when i knew that you needed some help that i could not provide... its not that i hate you... its just i know i was not capable i did what i felt was best for both of us to recover proper!
This is probably going to be the last time i discuss this as my audience has dwindled severely, after that ill probably feed everyone bullshit saying I'm okay and suffer in silence until it ends me or just turn dark and cynical.
I want to tell you all how I truly feel, I want to accept your help and let you in to the deepest parts of who I am. I do, but I'm scared stiff, terrified of what may be revealed.
I've in the past had opportunities for very deep introspection, a chance to look deep into myself... what I saw deep down there, was eldritch horror... it shocks me to the core the evil im capable of doing if my concentration lapses just a little. It's happened in the past only slightly and I've done things I'm too ashamed to say aloud...
Getting off topic...
Anyways, I'm a being who lives in a world of fear right now, fear of what I might do if I lose control, fear of what others will do when they see what I see in myself, fear of my medicine ceasing to help again, fear of losing the battle against depression and insanity...
I have more troubles than any one man can bear, but that does not give me the right to force them onto the shoulders of others...
I'm sorry.
(07-10-2015, 08:12 PM)Segolia Wrote:(07-10-2015, 08:10 PM)Rukii Wrote: [link=https://soundcloud.com/huffjenkerrday/crawling-in-my-hill-zone]Edge owo[/link]
If you had listened properly when you were getting medication, or read your little pamphlet, you might have observed that having extreme peaks, as well as extreme dips in mood are a thing when starting out with medicine such as that.
So yeah. No need for edge.
Can confirm - expect about a month for it to level out (and *don't* stop taking it suddenly)
I totally agree with you seg