12-19-2015, 04:56 AM
A very lengthy discussion about "Drama" and conflict avoidance that I found interesting, censored for privacy
[11:23:18 PM] [GREEN]: If drama is being caused overall, which is causing overall tension and uncomfortablness throughout the group, then it was necessary to kick him to prevent from causing a toxic atmosphere.
[11:24:53 PM] [RED]: ehhhh bit of a cop-out to avoid addressing an issue
[11:25:06 PM] [GREEN]: Hardly. Its preventing an issue from beginning in the first place
[11:25:08 PM] [RED]: it's very easy to not acknowledge uncomfortable truths simply because they are uncomfortable
[11:25:26 PM] [RED]: but it rarely does anything for the underlying problems
[11:25:53 PM] [GREEN]: If the issue isnt present there is no problem.
[11:26:03 PM] [BLUE]: It's a blatant cop out
[11:26:18 PM] [BLUE]: Mod or let someone else mod lol
[11:26:35 PM] [BLUE]: Sorry but... geez
[11:27:23 PM] [BLUE]: [RED] is talking some sense, let them figure it out?
[11:28:09 PM] [BLUE]: Am I wrong?
[11:28:57 PM] [RED]: Like I said, uncomfortable truths shouldn't be ignored just because they are uncomfortable
[11:29:50 PM] [RED]: If you honestly think somebody would allow themselves to get worked up over a non-issue then you are most likely ignoring an uncomfortable truth.
[11:29:54 PM] [BLUE]: Banning shouldn't be a substitute for actually doing something about it imo
[11:30:28 PM] [RED]: Well
[11:30:38 PM] [BLUE]: Not say [BLACK] Isn't being insufferable but... there's reasons to have mods
[11:30:53 PM] [RED]: There are no other moderating tools in [GREEN]'s belt
[11:31:06 PM] [RED]: He can kick people and that's about it.
[11:31:29 PM] [BLUE]: He also dislikes conflict
[11:32:16 PM] [GREEN]: alright
[11:32:16 PM] [GREEN]: please
[11:32:23 PM] [GREEN]: tell me a way to handle the problem
[11:32:31 PM] [GREEN]: because if you can't offer me a way to handle this problem
[11:32:35 PM] [GREEN]: you will deal with mine
[11:32:51 PM] [GREEN]: because this is affecting more than just me right now
[11:33:06 PM] [BLUE]: What if Andy starts playing with me more, woody? Huh? You gonna knock me outta the window, too?
[11:34:24 PM] [BLUE]: Really, I'm just calling it like I see it. Argument was escalated by banning all parties no discussion
[11:34:27 PM] [YELLOW]: well in all seriousness the next time a problem occurs we should discuss what to do about the people involved in the problem "as a group" and chose whether or not to kick said people out "as a group"
[11:34:35 PM] [BLUE]: ^^^
[11:34:41 PM] [BLUE]: Dingdingding
[11:34:44 PM] [RED]: I dislike powerful people who dislike conflict :V
To elaborate conflict is not just a tool of senseless hate and destruction, if it were we wouldn't be on the internet or in comfy homes. Conflict is a tool by which we hone various things to a more efficient point, and there is perhaps no finer example of this than debate and argument where we are able to enrich and hone our opinions and personalities.
Basically "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" works.
[11:35:24 PM] [BLUE]: Tl;Dr Moderate pls
[11:36:01 PM] [GREEN]: I did not vote to kick [BLACK] on my on
[11:36:06 PM] [GREEN]: and if you have a problem with that vote, take it up with the voters
[11:36:19 PM] [RED]: I still agree that [BLACK] had the right idea to solve our "unwanted discussion topics" issue by rebooting the old chat room so people can go over there if the current topic isn't their speed
[11:36:59 PM] [YELLOW]: to be honest you didn't state that you where going to kick him, i only found out that you where kicking him the moment you kicked him out
[11:37:05 PM] [RED]: Back room votes are inherently shady and by "avoiding conflict" they cultivate an air of paranoia and shame
[11:37:26 PM] [BLUE]: Whoa, there was a vote?
[11:37:29 PM] [BLUE]: News to me
[11:37:53 PM] [RED]: [WHITE] says a bunch of people PM'd her to kick [BLACK] from [ALT ROOM]
[11:38:05 PM] [BLUE]: Logs?
[11:38:29 PM] [BLUE]: Did he take other votes?
[11:38:38 PM] [BLUE]: I'm guessing no
[11:38:46 PM] [YELLOW]: well that doesn't sound like a collective group vote with a discussion, it just sounds like only the people who wanted to kick him got a say
[11:38:52 PM] [RED]: I have not seen any votes
[11:39:13 PM] [BLUE]: I've got a vote or two
[11:39:25 PM] [RED]: So as I am aware everybody who wanted him gone didn't publicly speak up.
[11:39:46 PM] [GREEN]: no one wants to publicly speak up and create more drama
[11:39:57 PM] [RED]: Again
[11:40:05 PM] [BLUE]: So, like
[11:40:37 PM] [BLUE]: We currently have a conflict avoiding ban mod that takes pm votes to kick people without asking the public
[11:40:52 PM] [RED]: If you are not willing to stand by your position after it is presented publicly and challenged then you shouldn't present it at all because you aren't committed to it.
[11:40:59 PM] [BLUE]: Can I vote for a new one or am I too new?
[11:41:05 PM] [YELLOW]: but thats how it works in life, if you have a problem with a co worker you need to discuss it with your superiors and then said superiors must talk to said person before chosing to keep or get rid of said person
[11:41:41 PM] [RED]: There is no "right to not be challenged"
[11:41:57 PM] [BLUE]: [RED] seems fun, I vote him/her/schglee
[11:42:33 PM] [RED]: "Drama" as it were is a fact of life that you cannot avoid without also avoiding many character and intellect building experiences
[11:43:29 PM] [GREEN]: I need to go back to irl stuff
[11:24:53 PM] [RED]: ehhhh bit of a cop-out to avoid addressing an issue
[11:25:06 PM] [GREEN]: Hardly. Its preventing an issue from beginning in the first place
[11:25:08 PM] [RED]: it's very easy to not acknowledge uncomfortable truths simply because they are uncomfortable
[11:25:26 PM] [RED]: but it rarely does anything for the underlying problems
[11:25:53 PM] [GREEN]: If the issue isnt present there is no problem.
[11:26:03 PM] [BLUE]: It's a blatant cop out
[11:26:18 PM] [BLUE]: Mod or let someone else mod lol
[11:26:35 PM] [BLUE]: Sorry but... geez
[11:27:23 PM] [BLUE]: [RED] is talking some sense, let them figure it out?
[11:28:09 PM] [BLUE]: Am I wrong?
[11:28:57 PM] [RED]: Like I said, uncomfortable truths shouldn't be ignored just because they are uncomfortable
[11:29:50 PM] [RED]: If you honestly think somebody would allow themselves to get worked up over a non-issue then you are most likely ignoring an uncomfortable truth.
[11:29:54 PM] [BLUE]: Banning shouldn't be a substitute for actually doing something about it imo
[11:30:28 PM] [RED]: Well
[11:30:38 PM] [BLUE]: Not say [BLACK] Isn't being insufferable but... there's reasons to have mods
[11:30:53 PM] [RED]: There are no other moderating tools in [GREEN]'s belt
[11:31:06 PM] [RED]: He can kick people and that's about it.
[11:31:29 PM] [BLUE]: He also dislikes conflict
[11:32:16 PM] [GREEN]: alright
[11:32:16 PM] [GREEN]: please
[11:32:23 PM] [GREEN]: tell me a way to handle the problem
[11:32:31 PM] [GREEN]: because if you can't offer me a way to handle this problem
[11:32:35 PM] [GREEN]: you will deal with mine
[11:32:51 PM] [GREEN]: because this is affecting more than just me right now
[11:33:06 PM] [BLUE]: What if Andy starts playing with me more, woody? Huh? You gonna knock me outta the window, too?
[11:34:24 PM] [BLUE]: Really, I'm just calling it like I see it. Argument was escalated by banning all parties no discussion
[11:34:27 PM] [YELLOW]: well in all seriousness the next time a problem occurs we should discuss what to do about the people involved in the problem "as a group" and chose whether or not to kick said people out "as a group"
[11:34:35 PM] [BLUE]: ^^^
[11:34:41 PM] [BLUE]: Dingdingding
[11:34:44 PM] [RED]: I dislike powerful people who dislike conflict :V
To elaborate conflict is not just a tool of senseless hate and destruction, if it were we wouldn't be on the internet or in comfy homes. Conflict is a tool by which we hone various things to a more efficient point, and there is perhaps no finer example of this than debate and argument where we are able to enrich and hone our opinions and personalities.
Basically "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" works.
[11:35:24 PM] [BLUE]: Tl;Dr Moderate pls
[11:36:01 PM] [GREEN]: I did not vote to kick [BLACK] on my on
[11:36:06 PM] [GREEN]: and if you have a problem with that vote, take it up with the voters
[11:36:19 PM] [RED]: I still agree that [BLACK] had the right idea to solve our "unwanted discussion topics" issue by rebooting the old chat room so people can go over there if the current topic isn't their speed
[11:36:59 PM] [YELLOW]: to be honest you didn't state that you where going to kick him, i only found out that you where kicking him the moment you kicked him out
[11:37:05 PM] [RED]: Back room votes are inherently shady and by "avoiding conflict" they cultivate an air of paranoia and shame
[11:37:26 PM] [BLUE]: Whoa, there was a vote?
[11:37:29 PM] [BLUE]: News to me
[11:37:53 PM] [RED]: [WHITE] says a bunch of people PM'd her to kick [BLACK] from [ALT ROOM]
[11:38:05 PM] [BLUE]: Logs?
[11:38:29 PM] [BLUE]: Did he take other votes?
[11:38:38 PM] [BLUE]: I'm guessing no
[11:38:46 PM] [YELLOW]: well that doesn't sound like a collective group vote with a discussion, it just sounds like only the people who wanted to kick him got a say
[11:38:52 PM] [RED]: I have not seen any votes
[11:39:13 PM] [BLUE]: I've got a vote or two
[11:39:25 PM] [RED]: So as I am aware everybody who wanted him gone didn't publicly speak up.
[11:39:46 PM] [GREEN]: no one wants to publicly speak up and create more drama
[11:39:57 PM] [RED]: Again
[11:40:05 PM] [BLUE]: So, like
[11:40:37 PM] [BLUE]: We currently have a conflict avoiding ban mod that takes pm votes to kick people without asking the public
[11:40:52 PM] [RED]: If you are not willing to stand by your position after it is presented publicly and challenged then you shouldn't present it at all because you aren't committed to it.
[11:40:59 PM] [BLUE]: Can I vote for a new one or am I too new?
[11:41:05 PM] [YELLOW]: but thats how it works in life, if you have a problem with a co worker you need to discuss it with your superiors and then said superiors must talk to said person before chosing to keep or get rid of said person
[11:41:41 PM] [RED]: There is no "right to not be challenged"
[11:41:57 PM] [BLUE]: [RED] seems fun, I vote him/her/schglee
[11:42:33 PM] [RED]: "Drama" as it were is a fact of life that you cannot avoid without also avoiding many character and intellect building experiences
[11:43:29 PM] [GREEN]: I need to go back to irl stuff
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I answer questions. snark provided free of charge.
Most hated member of the nexus, irritation and/or ragequit guaranteed or your money back.
"IF I DO NOT RETURN INFORM MY HUMAN COHABITANTS THAT I FEEL STRONGLY FOR THEM"