03-19-2016, 10:03 AM
(03-19-2016, 09:13 AM)Shaadaris Wrote: So I reviewed/analyzed a Starbound review:Eh.
In Starbound, you perform pointless fetch quests in a bland and uninteresting sci-fi universe. Earth has been destroyed by a monster out of a Japanese porno (did you know the tentacle thing comes from a ban on showing p*nises onscreen? True story), but it's a sign of something greater to come.
To start with, the game is not inherently bad. Oh no, you see, there's just a few things here and there. It's got a really great weapon generation system and it's easily moddable, has no character limit on the chat (I know this because on one roleplay server a pair of lesbian Novakids sent twenty-minute long textwalls of ERP into the public chat), and a nice big universe. This means it's very good for roleplay, if you play on a server that creates its own lore, but as you'll find out, it's not much fun as a game. There's some nice features, such as your character making funny faces as you chat, and the ability to click on stuff and have your character snark at it.
The first major flaw is that the lore is quite poorly thought out (this is why most roleplay servers write their own version). The Novakids, while at first interesting, lack faces and this is a bad decision because you lose out on things like facial expressions. They're really weird to play as. Secondly, the Apex, who are a mildly interesting Orwellian society destroyed by one major flaw: they are monkeys. This makes it hard to take them seriously once you imagine what a government meeting might go like. Picture it - Apex screaming their arguments across an intimidating parliament chamber adorned with pillars and banners, the debate raging until they begin flinging poo at each other.
Florans are a race of savage tribal plant people who were somehow able to miraculously reverse engineer a crashed Apex spaceship, despite having no prior experience with technology much more advanced than a slingshot. The lore mostly appeals to little kids because of these flaws, and not mature sci-fi nerds like you and I.
The gameplay while at its core a fun experience is destroyed by a horrible quest system ("make me a cup of coffee!") and an unreliable Dev team that tends to break their game in truly impressive ways ("Bug fixes: NPC tenants no longer catch fire by accident").
There's an interesting colony system where you can get tenants to move into buildings you build, and the tenant will actually be designed to fit the building.
In short, it's an Early Access Scam. This game was meant to be released three years ago but it's still in beta. Apparently the release is only 2-3 updates away, but they're hard Devs to trust. Also, three years overdue and the game has not been optimised yet. The Devs are showing signs of improving but I'd recommend waiting until a sale to buy it if you like roleplay. That's the only way you'll get many hours out of this. I am fully aware of the irony that I have 1000+ hours logged in the game, but that's what happens when you roleplay.
If you want a fun 2D sandbox metroidvania, just buy Terraria. Yes, it's got a smaller world, but quality over quantity.All this took place on this thread: http://community.playstarbound.com/threads/hatemail-to-starbound-part-1-2.110690/ and was referencing a negative Steam review of a guy with over 1000 hours in the game. I decided to post exactly why I thought it was a terrible review.1st paragraph: Instant obvious signs of rage. Decides to make the hentai connection just because the monster happens to have tentacles. Oh lordie this'll be a good one...
2nd paragraph: points out a couple of really small "nice features" but doesn't go into detail to avoid looking like a jerk from the get-go. No, must save precious space to nitpick.
3rd parapgraph: Claims the lore is bad but says nothing about the lore other than nitpicking why the literal star people don't have facial features, which is one of their defining traits, and completely misinterprets the Apex, deciding to instead show they actually paid very little attention to the Apex lore of them being very intelligent. Yes they're space monkeys. We also have mayan space birds with magic crystals, space plasma people with space trains, three-eyed space frogs who are almost all complete oblivious pricks, and space plants which walk around and like sssstabing people. This isn't meant to be Space Melodrama Game no.20XX, this is Starbound, where we have penguins piloting UFOs.
4th paragraph: Yes, the Floran lore is a bit iffy, but probably a lot of the reverse-engineering was done by Greenfinger and other civilized, intelligent Florans, who'd had interactions with other races and studied things like this. Also, once again a stupid comparison. Scifi Nerds read stuff like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is ludicrous at times, watch Doctor Who, which can occasionally reach that same level of ridiculousness, and many enjoy sci-fi parodies like Spaceballs. This game is not supposed to be taken dead serious, just like those. That should have been pretty obvious from the moment medieval (space) robots were mentioned.
5th paragraph: Brings up placeholder content as part of an argument, and then bashes a dev team for causing and fixing bugs, just like LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE dev team that exists, anywhere. Have you seen the broken crap that makes its way onto the AAA market? Also this game is in active, pre-release development. Of course there will be bugs you ignorant prick.
6th paragraph: "Oh and now to lighten the mood again and make you forget all the bad stuff I said by complimenting the colony system in this one sentence."
7th paragraph: Pulling the "IT'S A SCAM", "the Devs are money-grabbers", "the early access game isn't optimized", and "the freshly-made indie dev team made a big booboo with the release date" cards all in one paragprah, instantly destroying any credibility this guy had (which, judging from the above, was very little). Then proceeds to justify his 1000+ hours. Well, even if it is from roleplaying, this has provided you with a platform that worked for 1000+ hours for that purpose, so don't go saying it wasn't worth it.
8th paragraph: Compares it to Terraria, a beginner's mistake since the games are quite different in everything but basic style. Also, Terraria is complete and has been getting steady updates since release, while SB is in Beta and is still working towards a 1.0 release.
That was ridiculous. He made very few actual points, trailed off from his intended purpose a few times, and most of his problems were due to early access or disliking the devs.
I rate this review 2/10: Sloppy and almost entirely useless.
Don't worry, I'm not quitting my nonexistant day job.
He makes a few good points, but as usual A. doesn't really know what he's talking about and B. tries to force his incorrect opinions on other people.
The only legitimate use of a computer is to play games.
-Eugene Jarvis
Mishuk gotal'u meshuroke, pako kyore - Pressure makes gems, ease makes decay
The rumours of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's called a hustle, sweetheart!
-Eugene Jarvis
Mishuk gotal'u meshuroke, pako kyore - Pressure makes gems, ease makes decay
The rumours of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's called a hustle, sweetheart!