08-29-2016, 12:27 PM
(08-29-2016, 11:57 AM)SCN-3_NULL Wrote:Was about to say it myself but you took the words right out of my mouth. I'll post this anyways:(08-29-2016, 11:36 AM)Rahizel Wrote: Less popular more well liked and respected?okay stop lying Marx, you can take off the cloak now
Definitely what I'd prefer.
-some...BODY ONCE TOLD ME....-
Sorry I'm early?
"Okay yes, I am Marxon. I've been Marxon all along, I've been incredibly lazy at hiding it because I didn't want shit to go on this bloody long. This whole thing started out as an administrator approved (after the thought) experiment to see if I could show people that I'm not the same person I was 2 years ago.
I'm not too sure about the success is on that due to the fact I've had the occasional messup, and also that there's still plenty of individuals here who still refuse to look with a fresh pair of eyes and will continue to see what they want to see as confirmation bias wins out. I had no intent to keep this going more than 2 weeks, I would say things fell apart when I joined in on the RP.
I've learned a few things though, firstly that this group no longer remains relevant due to its attitude towards members not of the original group, I've received the cold shoulder multiple times hence why I went to the RP and the other half of the reason why I started going silent. I've learned that while I'm not fully out of the hole my self control HAS vastly improved, and I am still traveling in the right direction with diversions becoming fewer and fewer. I've learned that part of what was causing such psychosis was overstimulation so walking away has become my go to fix for bad moods.
I have become indifferent to this cool guy club, I have found a place where I'm valued and accepted for who I am, not what people think I should be. It's a place where the people are much more friendly and fun loving, and the activity is constant.
I, despite the best efforts of many of those still here, consider everyone here who was a friend still a friend, even those who don't actually talk to me like Comito, Ehks, OmniGeoff, many others, and heck even Surge is still cool in my book. I've moved on from the anger from being thrown out like garbage and made into a laughing stock. I'm definitely willing to mend bridges here and move forward, leaving the past for something different instead of trying to maintain it.
Now I know there's a few of you who would still want my head served on a silver plate as much as it saddens me, I ask those to try to see things from a new perspective and discuss your thoughts. I know there are also people who have seen me change and also have an opinion to offer of which I encourage doing so. I'm willing to let a vote of whether or not I stay or go be made. If the vote is that I can stay despite this horrible lie I've let grow and grow, then I shall atone and do everything in my power to usher in a new and brighter age here. If the vote is to show me the door I'll go through, as I feel like I'm finally ready to move on from here if I must..."
I want everyone to know that either way, all of you will always hold a special place in my heart and that I'm extremely thankful to have had so many good experiences with everyone like the roleplays, that little server (soon to be revived) and the general conversation too. I truly wish that I posted this a long time ago before this got so out of control, I feel that I've stretched everyone's trust a bit too far.
And with that I will take my leave, this has proven to be a very... emotional experience. I wish you all well, until I return.