Avali Nexus

(11-05-2016, 12:18 AM)Kohrokho Wrote: [ -> ]The story just got deeper. Also, you made the credits pretty long, I noticed.

Yeah, I think I'm finally getting the tone and complexity down. Took a while, considering this project started life as more of a comedy... And yes, I kind of padded the credits so they'd match the length of the song...

(11-05-2016, 12:26 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: [ -> ]It is a beautiful work. The openings always have seemed to have a rusty blade-edge to them that almost put me off though, but the moment you get past it the entire episodes are really excellently laid out. I guess that's why most TV shows and movies have something at the start to let them cut into it slowly. Rather than suddenly.

Knife-to-the-face!

Thank you! Could you elaborate on your feedback? I'm not sure whether you feel like the episodes start too slowly or too suddenly. I should probably incorporate a hook if it's too slow... if it's too sudden, maybe I could use the "previously on Starbound: The Monsters Below..."

Hey... I'm curious. What did you base Bloodclaw on? I detect a core fallacy. In fact, mentioning of this fallacy could have saved him...
Also, I am not sure about his death as Mengele avoided it and thus mind death is unreliable, especially as he's under Mengele's care...

(11-05-2016, 02:53 AM)Kohrokho Wrote: [ -> ]Hey... I'm curious. What did you base Bloodclaw on? I detect a core fallacy. In fact, mentioning of this fallacy could have saved him...
Also, I am not sure about his death as Mengele avoided it and thus mind death is unreliable, especially as he's under Mengele's care...

Bloodclaw is fundamentally a TV sociopath. He does not feel empathy. Along with this comes his ability to lie without compunction and an inflated ego/self-centered view of the world (hence why he interpreted Yellow's statement that there was "another way" not as a a way out but as assigning guilt). His sociopathy, in and of itself, did not make him evil, but it took away the easy way of knowing right from wrong. With proper care and structure, he could have become a moral, able, productive citizen. Unfortunately, what he got was basically the opposite, and he wound up oppressed and angry. And when you're oppressed, angry, and have no moral compass, what are you going to do?

He's also different from a TV sociopath because even though he doesn't feel empathy, he does crave acceptance and validation of his existence. So he latched on to humanity as the ideal way of being: not only were they in opposition to the avali he hated, but they were independent and individualistic. He emulates (his perception of) humans in every way he can, including losing his avali accent.

He's also not as competent as the standard TV sociopath in terms of the ability to manipulate. Avali are easy prey for someone like him because avali trust each other, but lacking that shortcut he's not as convincing (Yellow sniffed him out right away) and he's vulnerable to being manipulated himself, as Yellow proved in the climax.


You're right that he could have been saved, but Yellow was inexperienced and unprepared to deal with such a challenging psyche. He got caught up in his speech and didn't tailor it to his audience.

I actually created the prototypical Bloodclaw before Mengele--back in the very early stages when I was still casting around for direction, I hit on the idea of an avali sociopath. Didn't know quite where I was going with it, but the idea of a sociopathic individual from a highly social species was dripping with potential. Initially Bloodclaw was a pirate lording over a subordinate pack through force and intimidation. Eventually the role of arch-antagonist was taken over by Mengele, and as Mengele turned from an evil mad scientist to a more socially savvy manipulator, I decided to bring Bloodclaw back first as an underling, and then more as a project/protege, and he kept developing from there.

I found a blog written by a self-professed sociopath which informed many of the more complex facets of Bloodclaw's. Between that, listening to Voltaire's "When You're Evil," and researching what it feels like to kill someone, I'm pretty sure I must be on a bunch of FBI/CIA/NSA/USCI watchlists somewhere...

(11-05-2016, 12:59 AM)YDH Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-05-2016, 12:18 AM)Kohrokho Wrote: [ -> ]The story just got deeper. Also, you made the credits pretty long, I noticed.

Yeah, I think I'm finally getting the tone and complexity down. Took a while, considering this project started life as more of a comedy... And yes, I kind of padded the credits so they'd match the length of the song...

(11-05-2016, 12:26 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: [ -> ]It is a beautiful work.  The openings always have seemed to have a rusty blade-edge to them that almost put me off though, but the moment you get past it the entire episodes are really excellently laid out.  I guess that's why most TV shows and movies have something at the start to let them cut into it slowly.  Rather than suddenly.  

Knife-to-the-face!

Thank you! Could you elaborate on your feedback? I'm not sure whether you feel like the episodes start too slowly or too suddenly. I should probably incorporate a hook if it's too slow... if it's too sudden, maybe I could use the "previously on Starbound: The Monsters Below..."

I'd say something more subtle and audio cued.  And I was saying that it just cuts from black screen in.  Suddenly, it's started.  Just, boom.  Every episode needs at least a slight curve.  Starting at 11, or starting mid-scene feels.  Disconnected from reality.  Couldn't think of what else to say there.  But it should start at 0 and go up from there every time gradually.  Jumping from "Silence as video starts" to a character thinking about blowing up everything.  Or to two characters standing in a room.  If you aren't binge-watching, it feels slightly disjointed.

In any case.  Starting with a silent fade in after an audio cue and a simple opening credit and title artwork.  stuff as simple as that.  The episodes are so quiet, which makes any of the first words said, sound overly loud and harsh.  Atmospheric and/or white noise would add a lot.  And help with the abrupt enter stage left/right/center.  As well as allowing you to add a tone to situations you wish to adjust.   Hopefully at least some of what i'm saying makes sense.  Today is apparently a day of disjointedness for me.

(11-05-2016, 04:46 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-05-2016, 12:59 AM)YDH Wrote: [ -> ]Yeah, I think I'm finally getting the tone and complexity down. Took a while, considering this project started life as more of a comedy... And yes, I kind of padded the credits so they'd match the length of the song...

Thank you! Could you elaborate on your feedback? I'm not sure whether you feel like the episodes start too slowly or too suddenly. I should probably incorporate a hook if it's too slow... if it's too sudden, maybe I could use the "previously on Starbound: The Monsters Below..."

I'd say something more subtle and audio cued.  And I was saying that it just cuts from black screen in.  Suddenly, it's started.  Just, boom.  Every episode needs at least a slight curve.  Starting at 11, or starting mid-scene feels.  Disconnected from reality.  Couldn't think of what else to say there.  But it should start at 0 and go up from there every time gradually.  Jumping from "Silence as video starts" to a character thinking about blowing up everything.  Or to two characters standing in a room.  If you aren't binge-watching, it feels slightly disjointed.

In any case.  Starting with a silent fade in after an audio cue and a simple opening credit and title artwork.  stuff as simple as that.  The episodes are so quiet, which makes any of the first words said, sound overly loud and harsh.  Atmospheric and/or white noise would add a lot.  And help with the abrupt enter stage left/right/center.  As well as allowing you to add a tone to situations you wish to adjust.   Hopefully at least some of what i'm saying makes sense.  Today is apparently a day of disjointedness for me.

Hmm, sort of like how the post-credits Mengele scene starts?

I can only imagine how much work it's taken to make the first season but I can't wait for season two.

It's extremely well made and I can't think of many core criticisms, only things that could be considered nit-picky. More ambient noise and maybe even some backtrack moody songs could add to it. I agree with the smoother transition sentiment, it's not critical but it'd be nice. My best suggestions would be either a short "Previously on!" like you mentioned, or an intro of sorts. Nothing fancy, something along the lines of a title of the episode and a narration of it with some fitting music or other sounds as a precursor. The music/sounds used could change with each episode, maybe have it foreshadow what's to come?
Overall, I'm a big fan and wish you the best of luck.

(11-05-2016, 04:51 AM)YDH Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-05-2016, 04:46 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: [ -> ]I'd say something more subtle and audio cued.  And I was saying that it just cuts from black screen in.  Suddenly, it's started.  Just, boom.  Every episode needs at least a slight curve.  Starting at 11, or starting mid-scene feels.  Disconnected from reality.  Couldn't think of what else to say there.  But it should start at 0 and go up from there every time gradually.  Jumping from "Silence as video starts" to a character thinking about blowing up everything.  Or to two characters standing in a room.  If you aren't binge-watching, it feels slightly disjointed.

In any case.  Starting with a silent fade in after an audio cue and a simple opening credit and title artwork.  stuff as simple as that.  The episodes are so quiet, which makes any of the first words said, sound overly loud and harsh.  Atmospheric and/or white noise would add a lot.  And help with the abrupt enter stage left/right/center.  As well as allowing you to add a tone to situations you wish to adjust.   Hopefully at least some of what i'm saying makes sense.  Today is apparently a day of disjointedness for me.

Hmm, sort of like how the post-credits Mengele scene starts?

Yes, actually.  Something as simple as that.  Starting slow and then speeding up to the rate you want it set at.

Also to dipdoo:  The entrance thing actually is quite critical.  A lot of folks would instantly be put off and stop watching.  Meaning you lose out on potential views, feedback, and advertising.  And not by a small margin either.  If I didn't know better I would have stopped watching the moment any of these episodes started. It's the sort of uncomfortable associated with waking up hanging upside down suspended by your feet. Suden, unpleasent, and it skips all sense of progression.  But I'm willing to forgo the unpleasentness for the sake of clean critique.  After all.  I will not take a pass at Yellow.  I serve only to help if I can.

---

Although, I am happy to see you've worked a cleaner transition between different scenes, forgot to bring that one up since I've spoken with you on it in the past Yellow.

(11-05-2016, 05:34 AM)Dipdoo Wrote: [ -> ]I can only imagine how much work it's taken to make the first season but I can't wait for season two.

It's extremely well made and I can't think of many core criticisms, only things that could be considered nit-picky. More ambient noise and maybe even some backtrack moody songs could add to it. I agree with the smoother transition sentiment, it's not critical but it'd be nice. My best suggestions would be either a short "Previously on!" like you mentioned, or an intro of sorts. Nothing fancy, something along the lines of a title of the episode and a narration of it with some fitting music or other sounds as a precursor. The music/sounds used could change with each episode, maybe have it foreshadow what's to come?
Overall, I'm a big fan and wish you the best of luck.

(11-05-2016, 08:49 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-05-2016, 04:51 AM)YDH Wrote: [ -> ]Hmm, sort of like how the post-credits Mengele scene starts?

Yes, actually.  Something as simple as that.  Starting slow and then speeding up to the rate you want it set at.

Also to dipdoo:  The entrance thing actually is quite critical.  A lot of folks would instantly be put off and stop watching.  Meaning you lose out on potential views, feedback, and advertising.  And not by a small margin either.  If I didn't know better I would have stopped watching the moment any of these episodes started. It's the sort of uncomfortable associated with waking up hanging upside down suspended by your feet. Suden, unpleasent, and it skips all sense of progression.  But I'm willing to forgo the unpleasentness for the sake of clean critique.  After all.  I will not take a pass at Yellow.  I serve only to help if I can.

---

Although, I am happy to see you've worked a cleaner transition between different scenes, forgot to bring that one up since I've spoken with you on it in the past Yellow.

Thank you both for the feedback. Background music is probably out of reach right now (I'd need a composer to compose tracks for the scenes, since pre-made tracks wouldn't match the scene lengths), but I could do more ambient music.

As for the intro, I could do a 6-second or so title/episode screen gradually fading in background noises, then beginning the episode. Think that would work?

(11-06-2016, 08:44 PM)YDH Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-05-2016, 05:34 AM)Dipdoo Wrote: [ -> ]I can only imagine how much work it's taken to make the first season but I can't wait for season two.

It's extremely well made and I can't think of many core criticisms, only things that could be considered nit-picky. More ambient noise and maybe even some backtrack moody songs could add to it. I agree with the smoother transition sentiment, it's not critical but it'd be nice. My best suggestions would be either a short "Previously on!" like you mentioned, or an intro of sorts. Nothing fancy, something along the lines of a title of the episode and a narration of it with some fitting music or other sounds as a precursor. The music/sounds used could change with each episode, maybe have it foreshadow what's to come?
Overall, I'm a big fan and wish you the best of luck.

(11-05-2016, 08:49 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: [ -> ]Yes, actually.  Something as simple as that.  Starting slow and then speeding up to the rate you want it set at.

Also to dipdoo:  The entrance thing actually is quite critical.  A lot of folks would instantly be put off and stop watching.  Meaning you lose out on potential views, feedback, and advertising.  And not by a small margin either.  If I didn't know better I would have stopped watching the moment any of these episodes started.  It's the sort of uncomfortable associated with waking up hanging upside down suspended by your feet.  Suden, unpleasent, and it skips all sense of progression.  But I'm willing to forgo the unpleasentness for the sake of clean critique.  After all.  I will not take a pass at Yellow.  I serve only to help if I can.

---

Although, I am happy to see you've worked a cleaner transition between different scenes, forgot to bring that one up since I've spoken with you on it in the past Yellow.

Thank you both for the feedback. Background music is probably out of reach right now (I'd need a composer to compose tracks for the scenes, since pre-made tracks wouldn't match the scene lengths), but I could do more ambient music.

As for the intro, I could do a 6-second or so title/episode screen gradually fading in background noises, then beginning the episode. Think that would work?

Very much so.  And as for white noise, I believe there are several white noise generators that are free creatives commons stuff, although you'd probably have to check yourself on those.  And there are some things you'd have to manually inquire about. Sayyy, this one.

https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/windNoiseGenerator.php

Though this one would require a paid agreement with the sound engineer who created it, it's simply an example.

Double post for purposes of time since last post.  I checked your blog link, and as far as I can tell, none of it is admissible.  The entire blog post is a contradicting statement, saying that if no positive can come from telling the truth they won't, then going on in detail about things that would be harmful to tell anybody in the long and short of it.  There is no reason to believe anything that was written down as it's all a facade to hide the truth.  A joke to trick the naive.  They are laughing at anyone that believes it, as there would never, ever be a good enough reason to say such truths if they were actual truths.  Thus, lies to coax other people to be even easier to control and mislead, and it's carefully manufactured too, even so far as to how "offset" the ideals written there are.  Breaking the societal norms just barely enough so that nobody should question them, and then going on into rant to coax people into believing sociopathy looks "only this specific way". 


The short version?  The blogger made a mistake, the entire blog post is an obvious contradictory lie if you carefully deconstruct it, everyone is too "stupid" [naive] to call them up on it so far.  Do not believe a single word.

well i can say i'm interested in seeing more of this

(11-14-2016, 05:33 AM)Lost Rinoah Wrote: [ -> ]Double post for purposes of time since last post.  I checked your blog link, and as far as I can tell, none of it is admissible.  The entire blog post is a contradicting statement, saying that if no positive can come from telling the truth they won't, then going on in detail about things that would be harmful to tell anybody in the long and short of it.  There is no reason to believe anything that was written down as it's all a facade to hide the truth.  A joke to trick the naive.  They are laughing at anyone that believes it, as there would never, ever be a good enough reason to say such truths if they were actual truths.  Thus, lies to coax other people to be even easier to control and mislead, and it's carefully manufactured too, even so far as to how "offset" the ideals written there are.  Breaking the societal norms just barely enough so that nobody should question them, and then going on into rant to coax people into believing sociopathy looks "only this specific way". 


The short version?  The blogger made a mistake, the entire blog post is an obvious contradictory lie if you carefully deconstruct it, everyone is too "stupid" [naive] to call them up on it so far.  Do not believe a single word.

Oh yeah, I know better than to take the contents of that blog at face value (even setting aside the reputation of sociopaths to lie and manipulate, there's the question of observer bias and sample size), but seeing how a self-professed sociopath describes themselves is still useful.

(11-14-2016, 01:47 PM)comet1337 Wrote: [ -> ]well i can say i'm interested in seeing more of this

Glad to hear it! I'm taking a break between seasons, and then the series will resume. It'll be a different game this time, and you won't see Rhaomi for a while. He'll be off doing his own thing, which you'll see in season 3.

a different game? i'm all for new directions and what not, but i think i sense a developing artifact title
unless it wraps back around at some point

(11-15-2016, 02:55 PM)comet1337 Wrote: [ -> ]a different game? i'm all for new directions and what not, but i think i sense a developing artifact title
unless it wraps back around at some point

The thing about artifact titles is that they have a certain sense of nobility if you keep them because they've been there for a while.  And it generally has a positive effect.  After all, what is in a name?  "would a rose by any other name smell so sweet?"

(11-15-2016, 02:55 PM)comet1337 Wrote: [ -> ]a different game? i'm all for new directions and what not, but i think i sense a developing artifact title
unless it wraps back around at some point

Season 3 will bring us back to Starbound. In, fact the show will probably live more in Starbound than other games because Starbound is better suited for machinima than most games (including the game I have planned for season 2).

It actually surprises me that there's so little Starbound machinima out there: as far as I know, nobody's ever finished one except me. There's lots of first episodes with no follow up. Starcrew could potentially have a full run, but I don't know if it's still in progress and it actually seems more like an animated film in the Starbound style than a machinima.

But yeah, I need to come up with a series title that encompasses everything.

And occasionally there probably will be things in earlier episodes that later ones render obsolete or no longer match the tone (i.e., removing Rhaomi's brain and putting it back in... that's an artifact of the original, more comedic tone I had planned).

(11-15-2016, 09:21 PM)YDH Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-15-2016, 02:55 PM)comet1337 Wrote: [ -> ]a different game? i'm all for new directions and what not, but i think i sense a developing artifact title
unless it wraps back around at some point

Season 3 will bring us back to Starbound. In, fact the show will probably live more in Starbound than other games because Starbound is better suited for machinima than most games (including the game I have planned for season 2).

It actually surprises me that there's so little Starbound machinima out there: as far as I know, nobody's ever finished one except me. There's lots of first episodes with no follow up. Starcrew could potentially have a full run, but I don't know if it's still in progress and it actually seems more like an animated film in the Starbound style than a machinima.

But yeah, I need to come up with a series title that encompasses everything.

And occasionally there probably will be things in earlier episodes that later ones render obsolete or no longer match the tone (i.e., removing Rhaomi's brain and putting it back in... that's an artifact of the original, more comedic tone I had planned).

If nothing catches your fancy there's always the overly literal title.

YDH, Chronicles of Contact.

It would fit with nigh any subtitle that isn't just a silly joke. 




I remain excited to see what name you finally pick eventually.

Announcement! I've picked a series name, and I'm ready to reveal season 2! It's not Starbound and doesn't have avali in it, so I won't be making a whole lot of updates on it here, but I thought I'd let you know.

(02-16-2017, 06:00 AM)YDH Wrote: [ -> ]Announcement! I've picked a series name, and I'm ready to reveal season 2! It's not Starbound and doesn't have avali in it, so I won't be making a whole lot of updates on it here, but I thought I'd let you know.
~SNIP~

Thank you!

Though Avali nexus in itself is now an Artifact title for this site.

Edit for after video watching:

Excited to see what you do with it. Excited to see anything you could possibly do. Wish you the best.

Well, it's been a very long time, but I'm finally announcing that Ori and the Voice of Nature will premier on July 29 at 7 PM EST. We'll be having a watch party at https://togethertube.com/rooms/windows-to-infinity.

(07-26-2017, 03:44 AM)YDH Wrote: [ -> ]Well, it's been a very long time, but I'm finally announcing that Ori and the Voice of Nature will premier on July 29 at 7 PM EST. We'll be having a watch party at https://togethertube.com/rooms/windows-to-infinity.

Damn it all!  I'm liable to be predisposed and without internet on the 29th..  Oh well.  Wish you the best.