So I've had a bunch of speeches, thoughts, rants and such about this place filed away "for when the time is right" in my head. I do that for most places though and the time never really comes, so I guess I'll just spill the beans while I still believe there is anyone here from the old days other than me.
To be quite honest, for all its ups and downs, for the enemies I made, the bridges I burned, and the mistakes I made, I don't think I'd trade my time in the Nexus for anything. A bunch of people seem to look back at the days on CF and cringe, "oh my god I actually did that?" and I always say that I don't share these regrets. I suppose that's because I had the opportunity to just loosen up and go wild on CF, I didn't have any reputation to uphold, I didn't have any standards I needed to meet, I could just cut loose and enjoy the moment without worrying about the consequences. Of course those days are gone, in my zealotry and lack of inhibitions I burned bridges and a good chunk of the community. Those mistakes were just lessons to me though, between DF(no you don't know what that stands for), various other minor communities, here, and now the servers I frequent on discord, I have learned a lot about the rise, existence, and fall of internet communities, the Nexus in particular taught me a lot about applying that knowledge (more specifically how not to). Not to say that I'm happy with how things played out, those bridges I burned still bother me, the damage to this community that I have and still will take responsibility for weighs heavily on me, but I recognize that these things will only help me grow as a person, and by making these mistakes now I can learn to avoid them later.
I'm not going to try and justify any of these things I did, just explain that broadly speaking I tend to lump friends into two categories. The first are the kind of people who I would never overtly identify as a "friend" but would nonetheless stand up for if necessary, the second are the kind of people who I genuinely consider a good friend, who have genuinely earned my loyalty and open approval. I'm afraid to say that the Nexus never really had more than the former within it, but nonetheless that there was anyone here I at all liked or cared about being able to interact with meant that I wanted nothing more than to see this place succeed and last. From there...well you know. I digress though, what I'm getting at with all this nonsense is not that I'm leaving or anything, I just figured that I would honestly like to thank the Nexus as a whole for being a community I could call home for...goodness what was it, a year or two? Anyways I just wanted to thank the Nexus for all the wild RP, the genuine discussion, and all the lessons I learned both the easy way, and the hard way. If I could I'd probably love to just go back to the way things were on CF, but I'll live with and learn from my mistakes, and I wish the Nexus and (most of) its members the best going forward. Thanks again.
Now lets never fucking talking about any of the stuff I just said